Alan Robert Horvath (1952-2010)

From The Clevelanders Vol. III

 



A concrete poem in the style of d.a.levy by Alan Horvath




Two poems by Alan Horvath


thinking about john glenn


I am flying with john glenn.

no, not in the same vehicle.

he is floating inside the space shuttle

350 miles above the lights of perth, australia

& I am crammed inside this overbooked

737 united shuttle somewhere between

san francisco & portland, oregon.


both our lives are in the hands

of younger men who we mocked or ignored

many years ago in an ohio elementary school.

our survival depends on

all those little mechanical pieces

working in divine harmony.


as this day turns into night,

our mission is clear:

  to complete the distance

  between this journey

  & the steps which lead

        to our front doors.



the lie


as soon as

you start the lie,

it consumes your life completely.

like cancer,

it grows & multiplies

until you have your friends

performing the same lie

to secure

your little secret.


similar

to so many situations,

the first time you cross

into infidelity is the easiest:

a massive release

of tension & energy,

loving the wrong body,

feeling so good to be bad.


you keep coming back

trying to repeat this rush.

it becomes more complex

to make excuses,

to see if you can reach

a higher level

of sexual gratification

while you ignore

the collapsing world

around you.


the last time is the hardest,

attempting to end the pleasure

which has become

so much a part of you.

this is when you begin

telling the lie to yourself:


           just one more time

           no one will know

           I can do this


"Heading Towards the Lights," digital landscape, by Alan Horvath









graphite on paper, by Alan Horvath